So I've managed to once again not get my work done. Why the hell is this so god damn hard all of a sudden? To top it all off, I have two more titles added to the pile: Captivity and Murder Party.
I really need to get past this block... maybe an all night, caffeine induced movie marathon will help get things moving in the right direction. Throw out the intended order of what would get done first (with the sole exception of one TV on DVD set) and instead just write about whatever strikes me creatively and then go from there. Thankfully I only have a small number of November titles to look forward to, with probably only a handful of December ones aswell. Then I think I'll be taking a short break from it all in January.
Maybe if I convince myself into believing that these reviews will be fro my blog they'll be done quicker. Like those earlier reviews I did a few months ago where I was churning out what felt like a review each day.
Aww Hell...
Reviews
With the ever growing stack of DVDs I need to review continuously rising, I'm going to go on a DVD reviewing bender. Spending the next 24 hours trying to get as much done as humanly possible.
On the list of titles we have: Assume the Position, Shanghai Kiss, Troy: Director's Cut, Fido, Casshern, The Graduate, Severance, Triad Election, The Case for Christ, Brothers and Sisters Season One, a screener copy of Car Babes, The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones Volume One, and the two disc version of Transformers.
That's 13 reviews (31 discs, I believe) that need to be done. For the next 24 hours I'll be working away at as many as I possibly can. First up is Transformers -- because it's the closest to completion right now.
I'll be sure to update the blog as the day goes by.
the first round of reviews will be be done in the following order:
Transformers
Severance
The Graduate
Case for Christ
Casshern
Brothers & Sisters: The Complete First Season
Blogs R Us
So much for that idea, the actual work that would be needed to make the site I was talking about is simply out of my grasp. I did get to have some fun photoshoping some new layouts for the idea, though. I plan on starting up a new blog instead. Yes, I know, I'm very original. Moving on...
The idea seemed to come to me when I realized that I've been stuck writing about the same thing for what is now more than two years with absolutely nothing to show for it. That kind of lingering stagnation isn't good for keeping the mind active and productive. So after reading so many other great blogs like GeeksofDoom.com (check em' out), I realized the potential to be had in simply talking about all of the things I deem relevant.
Right now the only thing holding me back is a lack of motivation for writing reviews -- or anything for that matter. I can start them, I can think up entire paragraphs and fine tune them in my head while I'm in the shower or walking around the neighborhood getting some exercise; It's only when I find myself sitting in front of a computer screen with an open word file that everything vanishes and I'm left with a blank slate. I can't explain it other than the say that it's quite possibly the most annoying thing in the entire world.
It's not writers fatigue, it's not writers block, it's not even a lack of motivation, I simply can't get anything done. And I write that with a stack of DVDs that I need to get finished some time this week staring me in the face... mocking me. I think the best way to get this all squared away is to get back to the basics. Write less, fine tune, get in to a rhythm, overlook perfection and simply aim to get things done. They may not be the best that they can be (FYI, I hate putting out something I consider subpar of unfinished), but at the very least I'll be getting something done and move past this phase.
Everything's Coming Up Milhouse!
So the other day, out of the blue, I was hit with an idea for a new website. Only unlike all of my other harebrained schemes, this one actually got me excited at the potential. I won't go in to specifics yet but it has to do with movies, just know that it has nothing to do with gossip, news or reviews. In fact, the general idea has been around for a long time only I don't think any -- at least none that I know of -- exist.
If only my photoshop skills could keep up with my imagination...
Superman: Doomsday... WTF?
OK, I just watched the first of what is apparently going to be many direct-to-DVD animated movies from DC. If this one, Superman: Doomsday, is any indicator of what's to come, they've already lost one viewer. Based on perhaps the most read comic book in history about the death of Superman, appropriately titled The Death of Superman (DC didn't mince words when it came to titles back then), this movie was flat out painful to sit through. You know your in for a rough ride when the first twenty minutes feel like an hour.
Perhaps the biggest problem with this movie is that it completely drops the ball on delivering the one thing everyone has been dying to see: the death of Superman. In the comic book, the whole story focused on the last son of Krypton finally meeting his match and was then put in to enough peril for readers to actually be scared for his well-being. Because by this point in the 90's the Man of Steel lost a lot of his readers when they realized that there was never a jam Supes couldn't find his way out of. So when he was going Mano-a-Mano against the embodiment of destruction and devastation in Doomsday, the playing field was even between the two combatant.
Here, that entire story is over and finished by the end of act one. The real kicker being that there isn't even a mention of what transpired during that time for the rest of the damn movie. Instead, the creators felt compelled, or forced, to tell the resurrection story. Not knowing that part of the Superman mythos myself, I can only hope this isn't what actually happened in the books.
The movie is stuck in that unpleasant limbo of being too violent for children while being too adolescent for adult audiences. Only here can you find Superman feeling guilty for not being able to rid the world of Cancer and seeing Lex Luthor shoot a woman in the face. Point blank. And what was up with the unneeded post-sex scene between Superman and Lois? I honestly have no clue who they're marketing this movie towards, and I get the feeling neither do they.
Admittedly, I did kind of like some of the little winks and nods placed throughout the movie. Like the reference to a moment in Kevin Smith's (who has a brief cameo here) unmade Superman screenplay.
Live Transformers DVD Review Blogging
So I've decided to restart the blog with a new layout and a new focus on what to post about. Instead of my initial ambitious --yet set up for nothing but failure-- idea of cover all new DVD releases weekly, I'm going to instead try and cover whatever might interest me in entertainment, the interwebs, or life in general. I'll start today by doing a live blog of sorts in order to get my review finished for the Transformers DVD before release day. I'm going to be covering all of the special features and then work my way back since they're so massive and dense -- they're actually going to be the toughest part to finish. So each hour I plan on updating this post with a new segment from the DVD. Stay tuned (and click the expand link for all updates).
I gave up on this, but here's an update with my full review here.
DVD Review: The Ex
Am I living in an alternate universe? Because any movie that features Zach Braff and Jason Bateman as on screen rivals in a comedy should be a laugh riot. instead, we have a roughly 75 minute film (taking away the beginning and end credits) that seems to never get off the ground, barely producing a single laugh.
Where to start...
Zach Braff stars as Tom Reilly, a guy who seemingly can't hold down a job to save his life yet is married to rising, no-nonsense lawyer Sofia Kowalski (see, they're the perfect odd couple!) and they're expecting their first child. When Tom loses yet another job, this time as a cook in a downtown New York restaurant (by way of a food fight, no less), he decides that if he's going to provide for his family then the best way for him to do so is to move to Ohio and accept a job offer by Sofia's father.
When we get to Ohio, we meet Bob and Amelia, Sophia's parents, and are introduced to the work environment of which Tom will be a part. Sunburst is an "alternative" advertising agency that believes in a business appropriate dress code and has its employees throw around an invisible "yes ball" all day long, even during meetings.
We then meet Chip Sanders, a wheelchair bound ad man who dreams of working for a big time advertising agency in Barcelona, Spain. It isn't long before we find out that he used to date Sophia and still harbors feelings for her. Which leads him to doing whatever it takes to make Tom's entire family and co-workers turn against him, for the small chance of winning back Sophia.
The Ex is a complete hodgepodge of unrelated plot points stitched together for no apparent reason, and it shows. It attempts to introduce so many new and exciting ideas (well, its idea of new and exciting, anyway) that it never even attempts to hone in on one, or even three, of them to make a somewhat coherent story. And that is the biggest flaw, it takes so many ideas and mixes them together to the point were it becomes an incoherent mess.
Tom being fired from his job isn't enough. Them having a newborn child, not enough. Working for his father in law, not enough. Him having marital problems after the child is born, not enough. There being an old flame from his wife's past isn't even enough. It's so all over the place that it never build any of the plot detours or characters to a pleasing conclusion when the end credits start to roll.
It's so busy trying to mock and ridicule the alternative methods to things like advertisement, parenting and marriage counseling that at times it feels like the writer wrote all of those scenes first and then tried to tie them together in to a film. The jokes are so broad and unoriginal that its just a chore to sit though the movie. An irritatingly safe comedy that never tries anything new, relying heavily on jokes and gags that have been run into the ground for the past ten years.
This new "unrated" version has removed several scenes from the theatrical cut, including a wheelchair basketball game where Chip talks Tom in to joining them in a game and then has the others players go after him once they find out he's not a paraplegic. It's a very predictable scene, but it was needed to at least give the Chip character some type of presence in the film. Instead he's now left even more one dimensional. And the ending has also been chopped up to where it doesn't make as much sense. Previously Chip revealed that he was in fact faking his disability, only to be hit by an oncoming vehicle and finds himself wheelchair bound for real. This is nowhere to be found in the movie.
The problem with taking those scenes out is that it leaves Chip flat and even further underdeveloped. Also taking away most of the explanation for why Tom is so angry with Chip. They can cut and re-assemble this film as many times as they want, but the story itself is fundamentally broken and flawed to the point where no amount of re-working can solve that problem. It just has a complete inability to make any type of impression at all, taking up time without actually saying anything.
Zach Braff isn't given much to work with and is left making strange faces or resorting to physical comedy when a joke falls flat. Batemans is best at playing a straight man, yet here he's hammy and continuously plays the role over the top. Peet isn't given much to work with in here "stay at home Mom" role, but she manages to get by and does a good job with what she's given. And Mia Farrow is on a completely different planet. It's Charles Grodin who manages to shine here, making me wonder where he's been all of these years. Numerous other talented comedians are used to to little or no affect in the cast, like Amy Poehler, Romany Malco (who has been edited out of this version), Fred Armisen, Paul Rudd, Amy Adams and Donal Logue.
The best word to describe The Ex is awkward. Which isn't in the context that I think the people responsible for the film were looking for, because instead of laughing at the situations the characters are in, like with The Office, we're left wincing in our seats at what they want us to laugh at. I don't know why there are always movie where casting promises one thing but the finish products give audiences something completely different and disappointing, but The Ex is the latest to join the list of "what could have been" comedies.
Video:
(Presented in 1.85:1 Anamorphic Widescreen)
The Ex receives the same treatment The Weinstein Company has given it for the past few years, kept it on the shelf for over a year, gave a very limited release and now seem to have just thrown it on a DVD and are done with it. No noticeable care went in to it and is very generic. Blacks seem to have been dialed up a bit too much and lose a lot of detail, with a lot of noticeable grain and white spots. Overall, it's not a terrible transfer but could have been handled better.
Audio:
(English Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround)
As with most every comedy, the disc features a front heavy 5.1 track that only widens to the rear speakers when the films soundtrack kicks in. Audio comes out clear for the most part but at times seemed to have a slight echo.
Extras:
22:48
Deleted Scenes (6:00) - The eight deleted scenes that are included feature some more material on the subplots of the film that are probably better left out of the movie. They also include some stuff with Tom and Chip that would have added more to their onscreen dynamic.
Alternate Opening (1:33) - Instead of starting with any type of sensible opening, this version is an elaborate CGI shot of a woman throwing her husbands cloths out of a high rise building; having a pair of underpants drifting through the city and landing on Braff's head. Thankfully they were smart enough to drop this idea early enough to where the CGI in the scene is nowhere near complete. But how did it get this far too begin with?
Alternate Endings (8:40) - Two alternate endings are here, one seems to have the movie end on a very strange note. The second one, on the other hand, is actually better than the ending used in the final cut. It give the characters better closure and takes away the awkward feelings that stem from the actual finale. Also included here is the films original theatrical ending which is by far the best of the bunch and should have stayed in this cut of the movie.
Bloopers (2:48) - It's nice to know that the cast had at least some fun on the movie, although Bateman either takes this movie far too serious or knows what he got himself into and just wants out as soon as possible. There are a few laughs to be had here, and is worth viewing once.
Lastly, we have the films Theatrical Trailer (2:24) to round out the disc.
Final Thoughts:
Oh what a cast like this could have done with better material... If your remotely interested in seeing this, give it a rental. If possible, try and get the theatrical version as it's a better cut of the film and also features better bonus material (but inferior video quality for unknown reasons).
Review: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
You know, back when Spider-Man had just been released in theaters and people had comic book movie fever, the three properties that I said I couldn't wait to be made were The Incredible Hulk, The Punisher and The Fantastic Four. With all three now having had their time on the big screen, the word disappointment hardly begins to describe the feeling I have about what transpired with those film projects.
Hulk was a mess of a film and best left off the resumes of everyone involved and forgotten about completely. Punisher was a movie that completely exaggerated Castle's origin story to an unrealistic level and seemed to play out as, well, I'm still not sure how to explain the plot to this movie three years since it was released. Then there was the Fantastic Four, where the TV spots and trailers showed a nice mix if intriguing cinematography and the wit and charm that many people associated with the four main characters. I had hope that for once I wouldn't be let down, I had hope that for once I'd get the same level of excitement after leaving Spider-Man on opening night. And then the reviews started pouring in, each more bitter and cynical than the last.
I had never caught the original Fantastic Four movie until DVD, hoping that maybe if I held off the inevitable in terms of how the film would play out would wash away with time so I could see it without any preconceived notions. And for the first half, I was willing to go along for the ride and was mildly entertained, certainly more so than many reviews made the movie out to be. Then it started getting a bit rocky, and eventually wound up being a moderate let down. Maybe it was because my hopes were so low, or because I bought in to the "doesn't take itself serious at all" universe that Story had created for the movie.
Then I started to see the promotional material for Rise of the Silver Surfer. Could it be? Was this the darker, more mature film I was looking forward to the first time? No. If anything this sequel only adds more of the unfunny humor that only children under the age of twelve would find funny. The same campy dialogue spews from the mouths of the actors who are either written to sound like a couple teenagers or people with severe mental issues, they were afterall exposed to radiation, maybe it's brain cancer that makes them all so incredibly stupid.
The movie has Reed and Sue about to get married but their wedding has already been called off several times due to the whole "world needs saving" business. When unexplainable anomalies start to happen across the country(snow in Egypt, water becoming solid but not frozen), Reed is asked to help uncover what is causing these strange occurrences to happen. It's then when we meet the Silver Surfer, the messenger to the almighty Galactus, who eight days after he visits a planet, it's left destroyed depleted of all energy. Now the team needs to work together and stop him from calling his master and save the world. But when the US government doesn't trust Reed and his team, they have Victor Von Doom offer a helping hand (Oh, right, I forgot to mention that he's back. Don't worry, the movie does a poor job of explaining how or why also). Which doesn't bode well for the group of heroes who not so long ago stopped him from destroying the city.
If there is one shining moment in the film, it's the Silver Surfer (no pun intended). Of all the things they could have screwed up in this film, and subsequently did, Surfer stands out as one of the films few highlights. Norin Rad has always been an interesting and tragic character in the Marvel universe, and seeing what they have done here with the character and the potential to be found with his future spin-off film makes me hope that some good will come of this terribly campy franchise.
In the pantheon of horrible superhero films that have ever been released, there isn't a single one of them that can hold a candle to Tim Story's Fantastic Four films. That includes such cinematic masterpieces like Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Batman & Robin, Catwoman, Elektra and the more recent Ghost Rider.
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Review: Live Free or Die Hard
Director Len Wiseman's ardency for completely over the top action scenes and unrealistic stunts make the movie feel surreal, taking the series completely out of its former "real world" restraints. Which is a shame as the plot, if taken serious, would have possibly made for the second best film of the now twenty year old series. John McClain went from a completely realistic world to riding on the wing of a fighter jet. The character has gotten older, slower, and his witty one-liners feel incredibly forced. It just felt like he was there in name only.
The movie has McClain as an old vet that is seemingly given menial work simply to keep him busy, having the digital age pass him by more and more, making his maverick style obsolete. When the FBI is hacked from outside sources, they quickly have officers from all around the area seeking out some of the nations most notorious hackers. McClain, ready to call it a night, is asked to pick up one of the suspected computer nerds and bring him in for questioning. When he knocks on the door of Matthew Farrell, played by Justin Long, everything goes to hell.
He has seemingly helped a group of terrorists lead by Thomas Gabriel, a former Department of Defense leader (Olyphant) and is the last name on their list of people to get rid of so they can be tracked down. So now it's up to McClain to keep him safe long enough to get him to the Feds. But when Gabriel makes it personal and brings John's daughter in to things, well, we've seen what happens when people mess his his family...
Long's character is a fresh addition and supplies plenty of comic relief and emotion when needed. His reactions to the people around him, seeing what has happened due to something that he was a part of, the look in his eyes speak louder than words.
Olyphant plays an acceptable villain, but hardly a memorable or menacing foe like Rickman or Irons before him. He plays a character who, while seemingly knows the importance of keeping the country safe, sends it in to mass hysteria. Then plans to bring on the new dark ages, while stealing all the money in the US. Digitally. What does he plan to do with it all exactly? Go to the bank and ask for a withdrawal? Would money even have any value any more if the entire nation was in a panic? Did he have an exit strategy nobody cared to mention? For a seemingly smart villain, he sure doesn't appear to have the ramifications of his actions in mind.
The Die Hard franchise has always had detractors and apologists, for every person that loathes With a Vengeance, there's someone ready to defend Die Harder to the death, and vice versa. Live Free or Die Hard is sure to be yet another film in the series that will find both a balance of love and hate from fans. For those who bemoaned the lack of Willis repeating his famous line, get over yourselves. This movie is wall to wall action with plenty of gun play, car chases, and blood. It doesn't need four letter words to articulate what is going on. And if your one defense is that it's more realistic if he cursed, the presence of a guy jumping around a room like Neo from The Matrix proves that realism isn't exactly what the director is aiming for here. If you can look past that, there's a thoroughly enjoyable popcorn movie to be found here.
Live Free or Die Hard --a title that was lambasted on the internet yet actually makes some sense given the context of the film-- is in the strange state of showing up every single threequel (are we really going to start using that word now?) how to get the job done and entertain audiences. While the Pirates film was busy wrapping up the plot lines to everyone on the boat, and a few inanimate object, John McClain was sending a car straight in to a helicopter after narrowly avoiding death in a tunnel. While Spider-Man was acting all hardcore and emo the way he ate cookies and danced to jazz music, John McClain was busy shooting a guy out the window with the added assistance of a fire extinguisher. And while Shrek was busy becoming a daddy, John McClain was busy riding an 18-wheeler under a collapsing bridge while getting shot at by a fighter jet. Who knows, maybe when those other movies get around to a fourth installment they can have the same amount of energy that this movie did. For now, all I can say is "In McClain we trust."
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Review: Ocean's Thirteen
Ocean's Eleven is hands down one of the best remakes to ever come out of Hollywood. The creative team did everything in their power to avoid every single trapping and cliche that ever reared its ugly head in a caper film. They collaborated on a project that took all of those over played conventions and spun them on their heads, creating a new style all their own. Which brings us to Ocean's Thirteen...
The third installment of the Ocean series kicks right in to fourth gear, where within the opening minutes we find Elliott Gould's Reuben character being hustled out of his stake in a new hotel by Willie Bank, a known swindler who cuts out his partners so he can claim all of the glory to himself. This betrayal leaves Reuben pennyless and he suffers a heart attack because of it. Now it's up to Danny and his crew to teach Bank a lesson he'll never forget and get Reuben his money back. But they'll need the help from their former adversary Terry Benadict if they plan to pull it off.
I'm not going to say that this movie was aimed at being anything more than entertainment, because it isn't aspiring for Oscar gold. In terms of being a fun two hours with a familiar group of guys that we've grown attached to, Thirteen proves to be a fun night out. Only it reminds you a lot of that guy from high school who hasn't changed one bit. Still talking about the good old days and hardly every bringing up a new topic for discussion.
Unlike Twelve, a film many of us like to believe never happened, the entire crew is brought in to the coupe and are used throughout the entire film. No jail time for anyone not named George, Brad or Matt this time! But the film still feels cluttered with the entire Eleven crew brought back along with Garcia's Terry Benedict, Cassel's French catburgler François Toulour, and introduces Pacino as Willie Banks and the exquisite Ellen Barkin as his assistant. Wisely, Roberts and Zeta-Jones don't reprise their roles this time, but there are still more characters than there is screen time for them to all share.
But the movie isn't a complete loss, Soderberg continues to provide enough visual stimulation that the film istelf, on an artistic level, will leave viewers wide-eyed. He fills every inch of the screen making ample use of tones and contrast and, once again, uses a unique color palate to make even the most unimportant scene look and feel as if they're the most essential scene to the story.
The predictable formula that Soderberg was so intent on shattering with his Eleven remake has now become a formula itself with Thirteen. Unless he plans to shake things up all over again, the last thing we need is yet another sequel where a group of guys once again spout off witty code names for jobs, miraculously find heavy machinery that is convenient to the job, cleverly disguise themselves in ridiculous getups, and Clooney being smug the entire time. 
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